The night before

 Leaving or remaining? Travelling or staying? These are the biggest questions for us young people. She asked herself: “If I do not do it now, then when will I do it? She had to make her own experiences, she had to make her individual decisions, and a bit of war and peace with herself. She had to get to know and to love herself all the way and then, it would be an amazing experience, and she would meet a lot of people from all over the world. Everyone cannot wait to leave, and to leave again, and to learn, and to live intensely. Yes, it was the right choice, it was necessary to broaden one’s mind, to get involved and to improve languages. Around three o’clock in the morning, she was lying on the bed and she was staring at one corner of the moonlit ceiling. The insidious and meddler moonlight managed to enter the room through a small opening in the shutters. The young woman had turned over. He was there. He was sleeping soundly with one arm on her belly. His breathing was regular, his forehead was not completely relaxed, and he sighed from time to time. He was almost grumbling in his sleep. And she was there. She was motionless, as if petrified, because she did not understand why she had to leave him. And she wondered how he could sleep so well. However, he was not sleeping at all. He kept his eyes closed but his underneath pupils were moving frantically as if they wanted to look into the deep darkness, searching for happy thoughts and fast images which looked like paintings, because they were together. One could see these two figures from above. One with his eyes closed, and the other with wide-open and bright eyes; one breathing deeply, the other almost motionless; one feeling like he was dying from the inside, the other also. In the end, they told each other that it would be easy, that it was the right solution, that they should have not limited themselves and that they would have enjoyed this new lifestyle. However, one could meet someone interesting, the other could question a relationship which seemed to have been stable for years. Perhaps distance would have opened old wounds and new uncertainties. At that moment, a sort of shiver had shaken the whole body of the girl, from her neck to her back and the boy, because of that movement, had opened his eyes. And he had looked at her. She seemed calm to him, perhaps she was sleeping. He could not sleep. He would have wanted to shout at her to stay there, on that bed, forever. This was a selfish idea. Yet when you love, you also become a bit selfish. I know it is one of the many contradictions of love. It makes you feel so good that you would always be there, even when you argue and then listen to the radio in the house, even when you do not do the washing-up for days, even when you are late or you do not answer the phone for hours. However, she was happy, she wanted to leave, and he just had to try to sleep. He had tried again. She checked him out with the corner of the eye, unable to tell whether he was resting or not. Suddenly, she remembered something very important which came to illuminate her mind, which was not a memory, but one of her thoughts. She had taken a deep breath, felt the time passing and thought that she would never experience it again. That very moment in which she slightly raised Thomas’ arm as she breathed in and, immediately after, she lowered it as she breathed out, making the turquoise sheets flutter. That instant would be gone, and the only memory would be a long sleepless night looking at the ceiling, at its three dark corners and at the lit one. Then the idea had arrived, it was excellent, it made her whirl around. The boy, who was obviously impatient, had opened his eyes wide. With their two foreheads against one another, she told him: “I will love you”. She had articulated these words well, to emphasize that it was Roberta, who would love him, Thomas. She had chosen these words properly, to underline that she would always love him. He had smiled heartily. And immediately after, without even holding a second thought, he replied: “I will love you, just a little more”. It was normal for two people at that age. They turned around and started to sleep. Thomas on the right and Roberta on the left. Each one was aiming at something different in life, and suddenly the shape of their bodies had changed from above. It looked like a butterfly. Even though the two bodies were turned in two opposite directions, their backs were joined together and had become one, similar to the body of a butterfly with colorful and fragile wings. Color and fragility can stand for youth and this big butterfly could be the symbol of a mature and blooming love which took flight and it was now on its way.

Published by Grandi Storielle

Siamo sei ragazze, Carola, Celia, Hannah, Livia, Morena e Sara che si sono conosciute in Erasmus a Chambéry e hanno ora deciso di mettere a disposizione la loro piccola ma grande arte per tutti.

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