My name is Mohammed, I come from Aleppo, Syria. I grew up in the countryside of Aleppo where I studied from the primary to the high school. I had very good grades, but they were not high enough for me to get into medical school. Generally, in Syria many people aim to become doctors: this is part of our culture. Therefore, I decided to do again the high school diploma to get a better grade. I had a better grade, but it was again not enough to be admitted to medical school. So, I decided to switch to engineering, in Damascus: this university has higher standard than the others and its level can be compared to the “Grandes Ecoles” in France. Indeed, this university offered me great opportunities, so I decided to move from the countryside of Aleppo to Damascus. It was a private institution, and I also had a room, for free. For two years I was taught the basics of engineering with subjects like chemistry, physics but also English. Since the institute was founded by France, I had to study French for 10 hours a week. Thus, my French continued to improve until, in my third academic year, I decided to specialise in electrical engineering which I did not find very interesting. In spite of this, I had good grades and the teachers gave me the possibility of gaining a scholarship to go to France to study for my master’s degree. I had the choice among Engineering, Physics and Mathematics. Actually, I preferred mathematics, because I like numbers and, in addition to that, I saw my future as a teacher, imagining myself looking for new ways to make children understand mathematics. So, I took the opportunity, I obviously discussed it first with my family, who encouraged me to go. It was a good experience; it was the first time I had taken a plane and gone to Paris. Two friends of mine from university, who had left the year before, were able to host me and help me at university and with the accommodation. And this is how my adventure in France began, it was 2009.
Syria before war
At that time, the situation in Syria was calm and good. During the first year of my master’s degree, I could not go back to Syria and for me spending a whole year without my family, my mother and my brother was not easy at all. After one year in Paris, my French got better and better. I could only return to Syria during my second year of university. It was 2011, the year when the revolution started. The war had started, and Syria was no longer as I had left it. There were two main fronts: the opponents and the regime. The university where I was studying, then Damascus, was on the side of the regime; while the town where I came from, in the countryside of Aleppo, supported the rebels. So, I had to go from the regime area to the rebel area. I had to pass through several checkpoints, having the feeling of being arrested or detained by both the regime and its opponents. From the moment I came from the Aleppo countryside, where most of the rebels against the regime come from, the military would tell me: “We know you, we know where you are from”. In reality, I was living in Damascus at the time. Similarly, I was looked upon with suspicion, by people who did not know me, when I returned to my family, to Aleppo, because I came from the regime areas and worked in the regime areas, in Damascus.
You were always an enemy: both for the people of Damascus who supported the regime and for the inhabitants of Aleppo, its opponents. The question then arises: why did you decide to return?
When I left, I could never have imagined that the situation would change in this way. However, I decided to return for two reasons. The first reason was that, in order to leave for my studies in Paris, they asked me for some kind of insurance that I would return to Syria after I graduated. So, my uncle had to act as guarantor: if I did not return, he would have to pay and he was the person, on the spot, responsible for my actions. I did not want anything to happen to my uncle. And the second reason is for love. I would have married a girl, my cousin. Therefore, I came back to prepare for the wedding, which then took place in my own land, in the Aleppo countryside, during the holidays. It was not easy, for example we did not even have electricity, but nevertheless I made it. To make you understand the situation, until the day before there had been bombings in the area. But no matter, you have to go on living, life goes on. So, we got married. Basically, I went back for family and love.
After the wedding, I had to come back to Paris alone. At that time, my wife left the countryside and went to Aleppo, which was under the Assad Regime, because her father worked there. In the meantime, I got my degree in Paris and returned to Damascus. The problem was now that my wife was in Aleppo and I could not bring her to Damascus, because I lived a very small room. For six months I had tried to have a bigger house where to live and the research was successful thanks to one of my friends who left his house to go to Paris for his PhD. So, the house where he lived was empty and we had an agreement to get there. At that time, I was finally able to live in Damascus with my wife. Meanwhile, the revolution was going on. From Damascus I could see opposition areas being bombed: I could see my friends and family being bombed and I could do nothing. It was like living in hell.
When did you decide, and could you leave Syria to come to Turkey?
I had a first problem: military service. It is compulsory for all the boys in Syria and I should have done it while I was in Paris. I tried to get myself to stay away from it through a fake paper and I had a plan to leave Damascus. The problem is that it is an absolutely required document at checkpoints and if you do not have it, you are sent straight to military service. I lived for two years with the fear of being discovered, from 2012 to 2014. I was afraid of being arrested at any moment. However, during this time I managed to find a way back to Aleppo: a journey that before the war would have taken only two hours, now took twelve hours. We said goodbye to our families, and I showed up at the checkpoint with my wife and son at the end of 2014 to go to Turkey. In one day, we passed through the regime zone, into Aleppo to say goodbye to my wife’s family and then across the border into the Turkish province of Hatay. The part of the journey I was most afraid of was the one between Damascus and Aleppo because it passed right on the crossline that divides the regime and the opposition. When I arrived in Aleppo, I realised that I would no longer be stopped or arrested for military service. So that very evening, after saying goodbye to my brother, I went towards Idleb to cross the border. There we paid 300 dollars each, now I know they ask for 2000 dollars, and it is more complicated after the construction of the wall. Afterwards, we took a car from Hatay, where there were already many Arab people in the area, and I decided to bring my family here to Kilis, where other family members of mine had already been living for some time, like my mother and sisters. After two days, my father also arrived. I have been living here with my family since the beginning of 2015.
What do you do here?
I am a maths teacher and I also help Syrian students, not only in maths, to study.
Do you feel safe here in Kilis?
I am happy here and it is much safer than in Syria. Although, I have to say, the situation is changing: I am scared of being sent back to Syria. Because here refugees only have a temporary permit. It is not a situation where we can stay forever.
But they gave you an identity card, you are here regularly, through the Kimlik.
Yes, and I must say that we receive different supports from the government. But for example, we know that this government supports us now, but we do not know how it will go in the next legislature, we know that there are parts of the opposition that would like to send us home. We are scared because of that.
Do you consider Erdogan’s policy to have been good for you?
For me, yes. I cannot speak in general, for other issues. I can tell you that for the Syrians, both the government and the Turkish people themselves have welcomed us and helped us well. It was the same Turkish people who helped many Syrians find a place, a home at the beginning of the war. Then it must be said, for today’s situation, that there are many Syrians here in Kilis, who have not always behaved well, risking giving a bad image of us to the Turks.
But it was Erdogan himself who decided to build the wall, so I imagined that Erdogan’s policy could not be viewed positively.
You are right, for some Syrians it is not. For me, he made decisions because of pressure from the opposition. It was the opponents who asked him why he was letting the Syrians come and giving them money, despite the fact that the Turkish population had problems. I think he felt obliged to do so. For the Syrians, for example, even going to university was practically free, while the Turks had to pay. Now, as of a year ago, Syrians also have to pay. Why is this changing? I think it is because of the opposition asking for explanations as to why we Syrians live here for free, go to school for free and receive a lot of aid, such as health care, which for us is public and for the Turks is paid for.
What do you like most about Syria and do you think you might return there one day?
The language. Although I learnt Turkish, I love Arabic. As a teacher, if I had not specialised in mathematics, I would have wanted to be an Arabic teacher. I also like being here because there are many Syrians, but of course I always have to deal with Turkish. I liked being able to speak Arabic all the time and freely. That is what is missing the most. My family is here, so I do not miss anything from there. I had to leave Aleppo quite early to go first to Damascus, then to Paris and Damascus again so I do not feel particularly attached to my country. I wouldn’t want to go back, not at all. I do not think the situation can improve in ten or twenty years.
What about your children?
I am teaching them Arabic, and our culture and traditions. I want to stay here, I have planned our life here, for the future if they want, they can perhaps go. However, I do not see my future in Syria.
